Blue Sunday VI: Gone

That next morning after realizing that my body was almost supernatural, I woke with my head spinning. It felt like a “hangover” -you might call it- by that strange liquid. In that same place where that dart had been shot through, my skin was pale, almost chipping off dead, rough skin. It was on the back of my thigh, and I ran my fingers across it. It was bumpy, almost like you could find bullets just underneath the surface of my skin if you sliced me open.

That was not going to happen.

I grimaced, trying not to think that something wrong was happening to me. I couldn’t imagine what was more wrong;

The fact that I could be mentally insane because I hear voices other than mine, or that my body is slowly changing into a supernatural being of something awesome, yet fearful at the same time.

“You really think that I gave you this so you could scoff and complain at me?”

I shuddered. Everytime Carlisle talked back at me inside of my mind, it sent shivers down my spine. As long as he had no control over me or anything else, I was fine to do whatever I want. I didn’t know if the strange feelings still worked if I were to be thrown off a cliff, but honestly, I didn’t want to risk it.

I brought my hand in the air above me, feeling warm air slowly fight against the ice liquid inside my veins. It rolled down into my shoulder cap and pooled there in a puddle of melted ice. I shook my entire arm, trying my best to rid of the creepy feeling. But there was always at least one large pool of the liquid rolling around inside of me.

I stood up, feeling the warm sun almost burn the icy pool as it shot down to my finger tips. How can I stand so long with this irritating chill? I crouched to the ground of my hideout, hearing the small snores of my sister echo inside of my ears. I placed both hands openly onto the cement floor, looking out into the sun.

“You miss her, don’t you?” 

I nodded, thinking that I was the only person to know why I was here. And after so many days of waiting, I hoped that Carlisle would be the last person to ever find out.

“You could always just leave, right?”

I shook my head. Of course not. I can never be considered human ever again. I do not belong anywhere.

Suddenly, after that moment of words spoken in my head, I could almost feel sadness pool into the bottom of my skull. I thought about crying, screaming, laughing, all at the same time. After holding back what was inside of me for at least ten seconds, I burst.

I screamed as loud as I possibly could. My jaw stretched as far as it was possible to do so. I didn’t know what came over me. But in my mind, I could hear Carlisle whimpering in distress.

What are you crying about?

I waited for his answer, after pulling my hands over my mouth to stop the screaming. Why was Carlisle making me do these strange things?

“I just… Can’t help myself. Your story, the one that I read inside of your mind- it made me regret even paralyzing you.”

There was a pause. I then heard him continue once I wasn’t pushed into screaming anymore.

“Your sad life- it’s almost scary that I intruded into it, instead of just letting you get your water.”

I shook my head, ignoring the words that entered through his mind to mine. I wondered where he was, or what he was doing. Was he thinking all this? Or was it meant for me to hear him? I imagined the opposite world I had created, and wondered if it was possible for me to meet my mother again. 

“Brother, was that you screaming?” August got behind me and took my hand, squeezing tighter the more I stood there, not even taking a quick glance at her. When I finally did, I saw her face, tears poured softly down her cheeks. I couldn’t just stand there and watch her. I had to tell her the truth.

“August, what’s wrong?” I gripped onto my little sister’s hand and kneeled to her level. Hoping she would stop crying, I wiped the tears from her eyes, “Is there something wrong?” She nodded. But before I could say anything else, she gave me a hug.

“Where’s Mama, Brother?” She asked through small sobs. No matter how hard it hurt, I had to tell her the truth. So I pushed her long hair behind her ears and once again wiped the tears from her eyes, “Little Sister, Mama is gone.”

Gone. That one word could cut deep into anyone. And that’s exactly what happened to me.

Gone.